Bimfatjin Ingloopdub Larnsabloopgem is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, omniscient snail.

Bimfatjin Ingloopdub Larnsabloopgem created the Sun six million years ago.

If you believe in Bimfatjin Ingloopdub Larnsabloopgem, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Bimfatjin Ingloopdub Larnsabloopgem, he will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Bimfatjin Ingloopdub Larnsabloopgem's most sacred site is Vinezac in France.

Bimfatjin Ingloopdub Larnsabloopgem's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Bimfatjin Ingloopdub Larnsabloopgem.

2. Never adorn your head with green markings.

3. Rats are not to be trusted.

4. Never think about stars.

5. Always share coconuts with strangers, but never with foxes.