Hasladflowgun is a god.

She takes the form of a slender, effective squid.

Hasladflowgun created a quark nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Hasladflowgun, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Hasladflowgun, she will turn you into a sheep.

Hasladflowgun's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Hasladflowgun's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Never paint your hands black.

3. Do not wear fawn clothing.

4. Never talk about galaxies.

5. Never think ill of sick dogs.