Zedtabjigdut is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, blissful centaur.

Zedtabjigdut created the solar system six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Zedtabjigdut, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Zedtabjigdut, he will attempt to scare you with hail.

Zedtabjigdut's most sacred site is Bokaa in Botswana.

Zedtabjigdut's Holy Commandments

1. Never record signs.

2. Never remain kneeling at midnight.

3. Do not utter prayers while touching copper.

4. Never approach forests carrying clay.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.