Talhenbun Natquatbid Fatsissawnutt is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, grumpy scorpion.

Talhenbun Natquatbid Fatsissawnutt created a down quark nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Talhenbun Natquatbid Fatsissawnutt, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Talhenbun Natquatbid Fatsissawnutt, it will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Talhenbun Natquatbid Fatsissawnutt's most sacred site is Thimmanaickenpalayam in India.

Talhenbun Natquatbid Fatsissawnutt's Holy Commandments

1. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Talhenbun Natquatbid Fatsissawnutt.

2. Never mention cats.

3. Never cross crossroads at midnight.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Nematodes are unholy and should not be approached.