Artmobbonk is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, ruthless eagle.

Artmobbonk created a quark nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Artmobbonk, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Artmobbonk, she will send you a strongly worded letter.

Artmobbonk's most sacred site is Uruachi in Mexico.

Artmobbonk's Holy Commandments

1. Never sit in the presence of voles.

2. Always help cats in need.

3. Never think about solid mechanics near dolphins while wearing fawn coats and balancing three titanium spheres on your head.

4. Always count to six before sleeping.

5. Always share apples with strangers, but never with hamsters.