Jonwitsasgangamkik is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, clever crow.

Jonwitsasgangamkik created oxygen three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Jonwitsasgangamkik, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Jonwitsasgangamkik, he will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Jonwitsasgangamkik's most sacred site is Taktser in China.

Jonwitsasgangamkik's Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Jonwitsasgangamkik's priests.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Never gather five porpoises near bridges.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Never speak the names of stars aloud.