Kipfebcap is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, unselfish goblin.

Kipfebcap created the Milkyway two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kipfebcap, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Kipfebcap, he will ignore you and hope you go away.

Kipfebcap's most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Kipfebcap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear hats marked with green.

2. Erect a giant yellow sculpture of Kipfebcap in the centre of the settlement.

3. Never paint your chest blue.

4. Always wash your head before prayer.

5. Always share spinach with strangers, but never with squirrels.