Tarmilxem is a god.

It takes the form of a very long, astonishing parrot.

Tarmilxem created the Sol system three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tarmilxem, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Tarmilxem, it will turn you into a dog.

Tarmilxem's most sacred site is Sanabo in Egypt.

Tarmilxem's Holy Commandments

1. Always cleanse blood with water.

2. Do not step barefoot upon indigo earth.

3. Never think ill of sick squirrels.

4. Heed all portents.

5. Never mention bats.