Satbom is a god.

It takes the form of a very small, conceited turtle.

Satbom created the planet Venus seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Satbom, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Satbom, it will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Satbom's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Satbom's Holy Commandments

1. Do not keep four ants in a large pit.

2. Do not hurt tortoises.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Never write about bacteria.

5. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.