Jabbitbep is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely heavy, omnipotent mongoose.

Jabbitbep created life four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Jabbitbep, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Jabbitbep, it will send you a strongly worded letter.

Jabbitbep's most sacred site is Temmes in Finland.

Jabbitbep's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention bats.

2. Always maintain purity during holy days.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Never write about thermodynamics.

5. Never talk about fire.