Quampidtag is a god.

She takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, sapient raven.

Quampidtag created a photon nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Quampidtag, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Quampidtag, she will turn you into an amoeba.

Quampidtag's most sacred site is Yerakini in Greece.

Quampidtag's Holy Commandments

1. Never allow mites to sleep beneath your roof.

2. Never feed lots of turnips to voles while wearing purple shirts.

3. Never wear corsets.

4. Do not place garlic upon stone.

5. Never feed corn to hamsters while wearing kilts.