Gargebdibbellrenguptargneg Vabvinfad is a god.

It takes the form of a slender, amazing seal.

Gargebdibbellrenguptargneg Vabvinfad created tapeworms four billion years ago.

If you believe in Gargebdibbellrenguptargneg Vabvinfad, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Gargebdibbellrenguptargneg Vabvinfad, it will turn you into a snail.

Gargebdibbellrenguptargneg Vabvinfad's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Gargebdibbellrenguptargneg Vabvinfad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not keep eight mites in a large pit.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Run away from fawn tortoises, for they are unholy.

4. Never touch blood while unclean.

5. Never paint your legs mauve.