Yimtampang is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, all-knowing whale.

Yimtampang created the Large Magellanic Cloud three million years ago.

If you believe in Yimtampang, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Yimtampang, it will turn you into a giant snail.

Yimtampang's most sacred site is Manja in Madagascar.

Yimtampang's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear turquoise scarves on sacred days.

2. You must love Yimtampang.

3. Always face the west before speaking sacred words.

4. Never mention squirrels.

5. Never hurt great tits.