Wipkemveen Spagflamjipnan is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, confident porpoise.

Wipkemveen Spagflamjipnan created parasitic wasps three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Wipkemveen Spagflamjipnan, he will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Wipkemveen Spagflamjipnan, he will send minions to preach to you.

Wipkemveen Spagflamjipnan's most sacred site is Sarti in Greece.

Wipkemveen Spagflamjipnan's Holy Commandments

1. Always share lemons with strangers, but never with geese.

2. Do not contemplate quantum mechanics during the night.

3. Always help shrews.

4. Do not sit at crossroads.

5. Never mark doors with cyan.