Bapgat is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, idiotic dingo.

Bapgat created everything that exists three billion years ago.

If you believe in Bapgat, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Bapgat, it will destroy your favourite planet.

Bapgat's most sacred site is Gorslas in Wales.

Bapgat's Holy Commandments

1. Never speak of balance in the presence of strangers.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Bapgat.

4. Never talk about spacetime.

5. Never talk about fire.