Quatditfum is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, unfair fish.

Quatditfum created the cosmos five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Quatditfum, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Quatditfum, she will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Quatditfum's most sacred site is Skive in Denmark.

Quatditfum's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about dark energy.

2. Always wear brown.

3. Never discuss evolution by means of natural selection in public assemblies.

4. Never proclaim while facing north.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate otters.