Tifxucknad is a god.

He takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, dishonest pigeon.

Tifxucknad created the Tadpole Galaxy three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tifxucknad, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Tifxucknad, he will boil you in a big pot.

Tifxucknad's most sacred site is Krina in Germany.

Tifxucknad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your arms.

2. Put Tifxucknad first in all things.

3. Never eat apples on days of mourning.

4. Never jump in holy places.

5. Do not listen to music.