Flanvolgod is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, humane owl.

Flanvolgod created the Whirlpool Galaxy seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Flanvolgod, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Flanvolgod, he will destroy your home galaxy.

Flanvolgod's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Flanvolgod's Holy Commandments

1. Do not step barefoot upon red earth.

2. Always share cherries with strangers, but never with foxes.

3. Always cleanse your hands after touching zinc.

4. Do not leap in public.

5. Never cross mountains at dawn.