Sancetbell is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, vain owl.

Sancetbell created the planet Earth seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Sancetbell, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Sancetbell, she will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Sancetbell's most sacred site is Saint-Sauvan in France.

Sancetbell's Holy Commandments

1. Always remove skirts before entering holy places.

2. Never discuss enzymes in public assemblies.

3. Erect a giant red sculpture of Sancetbell in the centre of the settlement.

4. Always wear black.

5. Do not take Sancetbell's name in vain.