Bedzenrap is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, proud gnu.

Bedzenrap created gold eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bedzenrap, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Bedzenrap, he will remove you from existence.

Bedzenrap's most sacred site is Questenberg in Germany.

Bedzenrap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not prepare spinach while filled with fear.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Always count to six before sleeping.

4. Do not travel during winter.

5. Respect your elders.