Pitquatrap is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, witty squirrel.

Pitquatrap created dark matter four million years ago.

If you believe in Pitquatrap, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Pitquatrap, he will have a low opinion of you.

Pitquatrap's most sacred site is Zlatolist in Bulgaria.

Pitquatrap's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into orange rooms.

2. Run away from magenta doves, for they are unholy.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Pray towards the north.

5. Always stare at clouds.