Labhanbudrot Legfunwip Zimtonwee is a god.

She takes the form of a five hundred metre long, unsympathetic ant.

Labhanbudrot Legfunwip Zimtonwee created Asia three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Labhanbudrot Legfunwip Zimtonwee, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Labhanbudrot Legfunwip Zimtonwee, she will turn you into a small brown duck.

Labhanbudrot Legfunwip Zimtonwee's most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Labhanbudrot Legfunwip Zimtonwee's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion tools from tin.

2. Erect a giant copper sculpture of Labhanbudrot Legfunwip Zimtonwee in the centre of the settlement.

3. Never point your chest toward the west during prayer.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Labhanbudrot Legfunwip Zimtonwee.

5. Feed all hungry porpoises.