Gutgepcun is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, annoying hamster.

Gutgepcun created the Tadpole Galaxy eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Gutgepcun, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Gutgepcun, it will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Gutgepcun's most sacred site is Finnmark in Norway.

Gutgepcun's Holy Commandments

1. Gutgepcun must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Do not travel during winter.

3. Never talk about ultrasonics near doves while wearing purple boots and balancing six carbon spheres on your back.

4. Do not hurt turtles.

5. Always wear orange.