Hudwigwip is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, all-knowing tapir.

Hudwigwip created a bottom quark four million years ago.

If you believe in Hudwigwip, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Hudwigwip, he will send four elephants to rub you out.

Hudwigwip's most sacred site is Gorbio in France.

Hudwigwip's Holy Commandments

1. Always act with patience.

2. Do not step barefoot upon brown earth.

3. Do not bounce at forests.

4. Do not prepare coconuts while wearing tights.

5. Never run in the presence of elders.