Kamaffumxucktofrag Pibxenmab is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely small, duplicitous swallow.

Kamaffumxucktofrag Pibxenmab created life eight million years ago.

If you believe in Kamaffumxucktofrag Pibxenmab, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Kamaffumxucktofrag Pibxenmab, she will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Kamaffumxucktofrag Pibxenmab's most sacred site is Outchimedu in India.

Kamaffumxucktofrag Pibxenmab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear aluminium on your body.

2. Never fashion tools from stone.

3. Never talk about quantum gravity.

4. Worship no other gods but Kamaffumxucktofrag Pibxenmab.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.