Dumjipnul is a god.

She takes the form of a six hundred metre long, boastful hedgehog.

Dumjipnul created a strange quark three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dumjipnul, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Dumjipnul, she will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Dumjipnul's most sacred site is Zlatolist in Bulgaria.

Dumjipnul's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt goats.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Never speak of balance in the presence of elders.

4. Hide if four turtles approach from the east.

5. Do not speak about limes.