Monhapzak is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, able gorilla.

Monhapzak created a quark four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Monhapzak, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Monhapzak, he will curse you with boils.

Monhapzak's most sacred site is Troms in Norway.

Monhapzak's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about horizontal gene transfer.

2. Never carve symbols of asteroids into wood.

3. Do not prepare limes while wearing boots.

4. Never whisper while facing east.

5. Do not laugh at forests.