Cabhigstaf is a god.

She takes the form of a four hundred metre long, narcissistic chinchilla.

Cabhigstaf created dark matter four years ago.

If you believe in Cabhigstaf, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Cabhigstaf, she will throw large rocks at you.

Cabhigstaf's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Cabhigstaf's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Cabhigstaf's name in vain.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Do not step barefoot upon gray earth.

4. Do not count beyond eight during ceremonies.

5. Never think about the strong nuclear force near turtles while wearing black hats and balancing three silver spheres on your head.