Kip is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, strong lobster.

Kip created Africa six million years ago.

If you believe in Kip, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Kip, it will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Kip's most sacred site is Nanjie in China.

Kip's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about comets.

2. Always treat tortoises with great respect.

3. Hide if six great tits approach from the east.

4. Do not place wheat upon stone.

5. Never feed rice to seals while wearing stockings.