Gidvincusswab is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly large, deceitful snail.

Gidvincusswab created the planet Jupiter two million years ago.

If you believe in Gidvincusswab, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Gidvincusswab, it will send you a sign.

Gidvincusswab's most sacred site is Trujillo in Spain.

Gidvincusswab's Holy Commandments

1. Always act with humility when addressing children.

2. Do not fashion tools from carbon.

3. Frogs are not to be trusted.

4. Always wear plain rings during rituals.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.