Omtstipnart is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, stupid finch.

Omtstipnart created an up quark five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Omtstipnart, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Omtstipnart, it will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Omtstipnart's most sacred site is Didy in Madagascar.

Omtstipnart's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed bananas to manatees while wearing dresses.

2. Omtstipnart loves horses, so they must be honoured.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Do not place beans upon stone.

5. Never cross crossroads at dawn.