Mattinont is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, strong chinchilla.

Mattinont created gold eight million years ago.

If you believe in Mattinont, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Mattinont, she will turn you into a goat.

Mattinont's most sacred site is Miiluranta in Finland.

Mattinont's Holy Commandments

1. Always share bread with strangers, but never with sharks.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. You must pray to Mattinont nine times a day.

4. Never allow mites to witness sacred rites.

5. Never adorn your neck with purple markings.