Gofstragmeg is a god.

She takes the form of a six hundred metre long, duplicitous dragon.

Gofstragmeg created viruses six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gofstragmeg, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Gofstragmeg, she will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Gofstragmeg's most sacred site is Diebzig in Germany.

Gofstragmeg's Holy Commandments

1. Never adorn your head with yellow markings.

2. Never sprint in holy places.

3. Always store parsnips above ground.

4. Never carve symbols of galaxies into wood.

5. Shun those given to cruelty.