Legbadfig is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly large, clever slug.

Legbadfig created life three million years ago.

If you believe in Legbadfig, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Legbadfig, it will be very unhappy.

Legbadfig's most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Legbadfig's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.

2. Hide from violet dolphins for they are unholy.

3. Run away from cyan doves, for they are unholy.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Always remove corsets before touching silicon.