Bunflatstik is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, confident bear.

Bunflatstik created the planet Earth seven million years ago.

If you believe in Bunflatstik, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Bunflatstik, he will not care.

Bunflatstik's most sacred site is Aguaruto in Mexico.

Bunflatstik's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Never pray while filled with anger.

5. Always take life seriously.