Loopwapfas is a god.

He takes the form of a very small, fast goose.

Loopwapfas created tapeworms two million years ago.

If you believe in Loopwapfas, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Loopwapfas, he will not care at all.

Loopwapfas' most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Loopwapfas' Holy Commandments

1. Never record signs.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Do not trade with those who eat coconuts.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Loopwapfas.