Woncedzag is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, self-assured mouse.

Woncedzag created the cosmos five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Woncedzag, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Woncedzag, he will turn you into a puffin.

Woncedzag's most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Woncedzag's Holy Commandments

1. Always help tapirs.

2. Ducks are not to be trusted.

3. Erect a large iron sculpture of Woncedzag on top of all buildings.

4. Do not sprint in public.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.