Farwanyik is a god.

She takes the form of a microscopic, two-faced jellyfish.

Farwanyik created snails four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Farwanyik, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Farwanyik, she will denounce you as a heretic.

Farwanyik's most sacred site is Quellendorf in Germany.

Farwanyik's Holy Commandments

1. Never skip in the presence of elders.

2. Never cross crossroads at midnight.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Never hurt whales.