Ladlamfon is a god.

It takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, charitable unicorn.

Ladlamfon created gold three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Ladlamfon, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Ladlamfon, it will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Ladlamfon's most sacred site is Auvillar in France.

Ladlamfon's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in black rooms.

2. Do not dye your hair purple.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Do not run in public.

5. Erect a giant gray sculpture of Ladlamfon in the centre of the settlement.