Govsidjenranpigsislen is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, overgenerous mole.

Govsidjenranpigsislen created energy four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Govsidjenranpigsislen, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Govsidjenranpigsislen, he will turn you into a giant slug.

Govsidjenranpigsislen's most sacred site is Uruachi in Mexico.

Govsidjenranpigsislen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear carbon on your body.

2. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.

3. Do not bounce in public.

4. Never paint your hands orange.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.