Kapnelril is a god.

She takes the form of a minute, temperamental armadillo.

Kapnelril created the Sun two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kapnelril, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Kapnelril, she will destroy your home solar system.

Kapnelril's most sacred site is Mogonono in Botswana.

Kapnelril's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about the weak nuclear force near geese while wearing blue trousers and balancing seven silicon spheres on your chest.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Never hop in holy places.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Always make sure there are no shrews in a building before entering it.