Quilltettigarkem is a god.

She takes the form of a microscopic, egotistical octopus.

Quilltettigarkem created the Sombrero Galaxy two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Quilltettigarkem, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Quilltettigarkem, she will turn you into a worm.

Quilltettigarkem's most sacred site is Manna in Greece.

Quilltettigarkem's Holy Commandments

1. Never allow seals to witness sacred rites.

2. Never touch ash while clean.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Do not gather at doors at midday.

5. Never pray while filled with joy.