Flatjanhug is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, effective toad.

Flatjanhug created energy three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Flatjanhug, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Flatjanhug, she will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Flatjanhug's most sacred site is Panayadikuppam in India.

Flatjanhug's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate ants.

2. Always remove rings before touching titanium.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Always keep your back turned to the west at sunset.