Gutwipbat is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, kind pigeon.

Gutwipbat created the world three billion years ago.

If you believe in Gutwipbat, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Gutwipbat, he will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Gutwipbat's most sacred site is Grimme in Germany.

Gutwipbat's Holy Commandments

1. Never sit in holy places.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Gutwipbat.

3. Draw representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Never laugh near tapirs.

5. Never allow otters to witness sacred rites.