Dotjadfed is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, witty lion.

Dotjadfed created the Small Magellanic Cloud six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dotjadfed, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Dotjadfed, he will turn you into a small brown duck.

Dotjadfed's most sacred site is Ulsted in Denmark.

Dotjadfed's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at comets.

2. Never whisper while facing west.

3. Always cleanse your hands after touching tin.

4. Never talk about planets.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate hamsters.