Somzed is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, unfair deer.

Somzed created the planet Jupiter four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Somzed, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Somzed, he will be mildly annoyed.

Somzed's most sacred site is Basalorum in Sweden.

Somzed's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Never eat figs.

3. Never tolerate songs in holy places.

4. Always make sure there are no voles in a room before entering it.

5. You must pray to Somzed eight times a day.