Straggidyart is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, grumpy lizard.

Straggidyart created matter three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Straggidyart, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Straggidyart, she will turn you into a goat.

Straggidyart's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Straggidyart's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Never talk about ultrasonics near doves while wearing orange trousers and balancing four copper spheres on your arms.

3. Never handle platinum while unclean.

4. Never pray while filled with pride.

5. Run away from red porpoises, for they are unholy.