Poglatnib is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, selfish faun.

Poglatnib created light seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Poglatnib, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Poglatnib, he will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Poglatnib's most sacred site is Qantir in Egypt.

Poglatnib's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick rats.

2. Never go into purple rooms.

3. Never talk about ribonucleic acid.

4. Never talk about nebulae.

5. Always obey Poglatnib's priests.