Dossbestnur is a god.

She takes the form of a five thousand metre long, omnipotent pig.

Dossbestnur created light seven million years ago.

If you believe in Dossbestnur, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Dossbestnur, she will turn you into a mouse.

Dossbestnur's most sacred site is Manna in Greece.

Dossbestnur's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Dossbestnur's name in vain.

2. Always store melons above ground.

3. Always face the west before speaking sacred words.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.