Sakdutvon is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely thin, fussy gorilla.

Sakdutvon created the Small Magellanic Cloud three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Sakdutvon, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Sakdutvon, she will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Sakdutvon's most sacred site is Katteri in India.

Sakdutvon's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if three voles approach from the north.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Do not consume wheat at dawn.

5. Never talk about solid mechanics near capybaras while wearing magenta scarves.