Farnbigmum is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, self-assured donkey.

Farnbigmum created energy four years ago.

If you believe in Farnbigmum, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Farnbigmum, he will turn you into a giant snail.

Farnbigmum's most sacred site is Valdena in Italy.

Farnbigmum's Holy Commandments

1. Do not count beyond four during ceremonies.

2. Never paint your feet yellow.

3. Always wear plain shirts during rituals.

4. Always share corn with strangers, but never with capybaras.

5. Do not speak sacred words in winter.